Thoughts on Religion and Spirituality

Anyone who has spent anytime reading any of my posts from inside the closet knows that I've done alot of soul searching, and concurrently, alot of changing. One of the many ways that I've evolved has been in the context of my Christianity.

As I've said before, I was raised in an outrageously loving Christian home. Growing up, all of my friends spent their free time at my family's house, because it was the fun place to be. My mom was the type of person who would take the whole crew to a rock concert, and actually join us in the mosh pit. And she was so cool, that she didn't even give off the "old lady trying to rock like a young chick" vibe. She totally fit in. My dad has one of the coolest senses of humor I've ever experienced, so naturally, my friends always loved conversing with him. My home was incredible. Five years out of high school, despite my living 2200 miles away from home, essentially ALL of my old friends visit my parents at least twice a week.

All of that to say, I had an incredible family to love me and teach me the Bible. They taught their faith fervently, and more importantly, showed it with their lives. So much so that even the screwed up parents of alot of my friends would show up at our house for counselling, having never even met my parents. And they were always shown love. They were always accepted, and given the chance to heal.

So, my parents taught their faith, and they lived their faith. Naturally, I wanted to reflect the same love and compassion that they taught me. So I got very involved in the church world. I led bible studies and youth groups. I was the president of the bible club at school. I have been on leadership teams to start three churches in the last 6 years. I have played in two Christian rock bands, primarily focused on leading youth and college-aged folks in modern worship. I spent a year intently studying "cults" like Mormonism, Islam, and the New Age movement so that I could properly defend my faith and help "win souls" for the Lord. I almost went to seminary to get ordained as a pastor. I tried to follow all of the rules and jump through all of the hoops. And for the most part, I was a good person because of it.

Today, I see things a little bit differently. You see, while the church is never quick to admit imperfections or theologies with room for individual interpretation, evangelical Christians will usually be the first to admit that the human mind cannot possibly comprehend the infinite fullness of God. So, one could logically assume that means that our human minds must get it wrong sometimes. I mean, there have to be assumptions we've made about the nature of God that aren't 100% accurate. This is because we're such spiritually curious beings by nature that we will ALWAYS try to understand the aspects of God that we don't quite get. And since we can't comprehend the infinite fullness of God, we can't always get it all right.

Ok, so if you can accept what I just said, consider this scenario:

Jim and Steve love God. Both of these guys are completely on fire for their beliefs. They evangelize proudly and truly show the love they're preaching. The go door-to-door for the purpose of making peoples' lives better, not just winning converts. They don't judge people, but instead realize that there is another Judge who has that responsibility. They know that their position is only to love one another, and to share what they believe, and they do so on a regular basis.

God looks down from heaven at Jim and Steve and sees one of his children and another guy that he doesn't know. You see, Jim is a Southern Baptist, and Steve is a Mormon. When God looks at them both, he sees two guys who really, genuinely love him and love his people. He sees two guys who get some aspects of His nature right, and are a bit off on some aspects. Unfortunately, God can't accept the aspects that Steve gets wrong, because Steve isn't an evangelical Christian. You see, God can overlook the misconceptions that Jim has because he goes to the right church with the right people. Sadly for Steve, he'll have to spend an eternity seperated from God in damnation for his human misunderstandings.

Conservative Christian churches tell that kind of story on a regular basis, though they use different words. They make the difference seem so much bigger. The reality, as I see it, is that a man gave his Creator the name Allah. A man gave his Creator the name Yahweh. And Buddha. And......Jesus. Wow. A man decided God is a "he".

For as long as we've existed, human beings have created these boxes and confinements in which they place their gods. Time after time, we decide who we need god to be, and we write a book to support our needs. And the next generations interpret our book differently than we would have, but it suits their needs better.

I am in no way rejecting my faith or suggesting that all beliefs are essentially the same. I'm simply saying that I'm not big enough to say that God has to fit into my box. It is my belief that God, or Allah, or Jehovah Jireh, or whatever you call him/her/it is far more concerned with my love and devotion to him and to the people around me than whether I was baptized by submersion or sprinkling. He's more interested in what I do for the other people in this world than whether I take communion with grape juice or red wine. He's bigger than the stupid stuff that we end up fighting and judging over.

Today I say I'm a Christian, but not in the traditional sense. Many in the Christian church would reject me, or call me misled. Alot of them are praying for me in my backslidden state right now, I'm sure. And I love them for it. They're doing what they know and doing what they believe. They're doing it out of love for me. I don't have to agree with them to appreciate their hearts. And for me, that goes not only for the Christians out there. It goes for the Jews, the Muslims, the Mormons, the Hindu, and on and on...

I say believe what you believe, so long as it includes loving people. I say believe with all your heart and don't let people attempt to pursuade you for the negative. Love eachother. Love God by whatever name you call Him. I'll support you to the death.