Why I love Queer as Folk




Hotass has told me on several occasions how TV's gayest soap opera makes him want to vomit. I have heard several times, from several sources, comments such as "Why do I want to watch my own life?" and "Its SO exaggerated." Let me take this opportunity to explain why the show has a permanent place in my heart, and why I'm grateful for Hal Sparks, Gale Harold, and the rest of the QAF crew.

Before I started beating my way out of the closet six months ago, Roomie and I had absolutely no relationships inside the gay community. We were on an island, fighting the battle between who we'd been and who we are, and didn't have the slightest idea about anything in the culture. Most of what we learned was the result of clusterfucking something up until we found out the right way to do it. As retarded as it may sound, we learned alot by noticing the details of the show. Things that the producers may not have even meant to be a big deal. Its not like we were looking really hard to see what kind of lube Bryan Kinney uses or anything, but we just picked up on things.

Even more importantly than those silly details, we got to see people going through some of the emotional trials that we were facing (and are yet to face!). Seeing young Justin come out to his family was incredibly emotional. It made me want to come out to my family, and do it the right way. And instead of the rejection he got from his father, I was encouraged by the support his mother ended up showing him. I wanted that support from my mother.

Watching Ted battle with his self image for the last five years made me want to be comfortable in my own skin. It helped me realize that there will be imperfections and shortcomings, but those don't define who I am, they're just things that I'm going to go through. And no, self image issues aren't confined to the gay community, but watching someone in the community struggle with those things WHILE having to deal with being a gay man in a sometimes hostile world environment was enlightening.

When Emmett joined a church-sponsored support group for ex-gays, I got to look at the situation and be pissed off that he would be so ignorant. It took a couple of weeks of watching that to realize that every Sunday morning I was getting out of bed with my boyfriend to go to a church that told me I was a worldy sinner that was living outside of God's will (though they still don't know they were talking to me). Um, gee....thanks Em for showing me just how stupid I looked!

Michael's relationship with Ben showed me how someone without HIV can be in an intimate relationship with someone with the virus. Since up until recently, I had not had personal experience with anyone who has to deal with the things Ben's character has to deal with, it showed me how normal life can be. It also showed me some of the limitations. I've learned alot from watching that relationship.

There have been many more lessons than that, and many more than a few tears shed. But I also take it for what it is. I know some parts are exaggerated. But it is TV, after all. Melrose Place exaggerated. Friends exaggerated. Hell, even the Real World and other so-called reality TV shows exaggerate the snot out of what really happens. Stories HAVE to be extra fabulous to be entertaining on TV. I'm aware that judgmental breeders who stumble accross it only further solidify their judgment by seeing Bryan in full force at Babylon. But I don't much care what they think, and if approached, I'm sure I'd be able to point out a few aspects of their own lives that are at least a little f'd up.

The reality for Roomie and me is that this show was a solstice for us for three years. It was our only glimpse into a world with alot more freedom than we had experienced. It taught us how alot of things should be, and showed us how ALOT of things should not be. It has encouraged and healed. It has informed and warned. And yeah, it has entertained. So while it may not exactly be scripture on gay life, you know where to find me on Sunday nights at 9:00CST. I'll be the one in front of the TV with an apple martini and a kleenex.