Just My Electric Personality?



So I'm in Chicagoland right now, Lincolnshire to be exact. First and foremost, its effing cold here. Wind chill is keeping it around 15 below zero most of the day. I know that I grew up in this kind of weather, but I swear my blood has thinned since moving to Memphis, so I'm freezing.

For those of you who aren't aware, static electricity conductivity is greatly increased by decreased temperatures. That said, as I awoke yesterday morning and removed the covers, I was actually able to SEE the static fireworks that were jumping about between the fabric and the hair on my legs. After I showered, I pulled on the previously-selected pair of pants (which happened to be a poly-blend), finished dressing and grooming, and walked out the door.

Something I had not considered was the combined electrical conductivity of polyester pants, a wool topcoat, and below-zero temperatures. As a result, I spent the entire day picking the pants off my legs, and the miscellaneous hairs and fuzzies from my pants.

This isn't even the bad part.

After a long day at work and a long dinner at a fabulous wine bar, I returned to my hotel. Like I said, it was a fabulous wine bar, at which we sampled several flights, so logically, I had to drain the main vein. Halfway through "the task", a towel fell from the rack above the loo, and landed on my pant leg. The drama here is that it also interrupted my stream. It was in that 10th of a second that a day's worth of poly/wool/cold static electricity travelled from my pants, through "the stream", and finally made contact with a very sensitive organ.

I haven't felt that since I was 10 and pissed on my uncle's electric fence. Needless to say, I'm wearing alot of cotton today.