Facial Foreskin

As Skipper would say, this is clearly from the "WTF Department"...

Happy Monday Everyone! ;-)

Another Level of Activism...

I'm starting to think that subconciously, I am trying to get gay bashed. Or at least that there is some mysterious force of masochism that is making me do blatantly queer things in places I ought not.

A couple of days ago, Roomie and I went mattress shopping. It was late in the evening and the furniture store was nearing closing time, so there weren't alot of people meandering about us. We were moving from mattress to mattress, trying to find the one that was most comfortable to us. On one such mattress, I absent mindedly through my leg over the boy and moved in to find out what a smooch on the this one felt like. Perfectly timed, the first salesman we'd seen in 15 minutes just happened to sprint around the corner like a starving...well...salesman, only to turn immediately around and walk briskly in the direction from whence he came. I believe I heard him say something to the effect of "Shit. I'll give you two some privacy......" I thought he was amused. Roomie is convinced he was just going to the back room to get his gun. Anyway, the queer guy who ended up selling us the mattress set didn't seem to mind that two queens were there for a queen...

The next day, I was taking a break from cleaning ye ole house, and I got a hankering (yes I said it) for a meatball sandwich. There's a Subway about a mile from our new home that I'd yet to try, so I decided to mosey on down and git me some dinner. The reason for my use of such ignorant words as "hankering" and "mosey" is that we live in the country. A little tiny suburb on the absolute outskirts of the county. There are hicks everywhere. Honest-to-god, we have a corner general store and a dairy bar. There is a dumpy one bedroom house on the main drag with a sign out front that says "Museum". "Vinegar Jim's" is the classy restaurant in "town". The only espresso in town comes from the truckstop, seriously. Anyway, lots of rednecks, point made...

Now on this particular day, I neglected to notice that I left the house in a shirt that my dear friend Peter made for me. The shirt sports a picture that is very comicbookesque, and in giant exploding letters says "First Homosexual Experience Comics" across the chest. This combined with the half-off eye makeup from the previous night's disco-dancing escapades made me a very quick giveaway. All of these things went unnoticed until one minute before I pulled up to the Subway (also inside a truckstop, mind you). Upon surveying the clientele of said Subway and truckstop, I decided it would probably be beneficial to my health to wait in the car until some more surly types finished their business. When they didn't, I went in anyway, cuz dammit, this queen wanted her dinner!

Anyway, long, uncomfortable story short...I was glared at by several of the seedier locals and I SWEAR I was followed by a product of inbreeding in a beat-to-shit Chevy Truck with a rollbar and a bumper sticker that read "Ain't Skeered"... but I made it home alive...

Anyway, the point is, I think fate is trying to bash me. Either that or I don't have the best judgment in the world. But that can't be right, because it implies imperfection on my part, and we know that isn't the case.... ;-)

A Complete Lack of Office Loo Etiquette





I thought of Hotass today...while shitting. I almost decided against writing about it, but since he also complained about office bathroom woes in a previous post, I decided WFTnot...

So, I get to the restroom this morning, far earlier than most in the office generally need a loo-break, and wouldn't you know, there's someone in "my stall". This really irks me. In fact, some days, I've walked in to find some worthless squatter sitting on my shitter, and I've simply left the watercloset with plans to return at some later point. But today, this just wasn't an option. So logically, I pick the furthest stall away from the dude on my pot, and proceed to take care of business. Of course, dude finishes up as soon as I get the texas tshirt in place and take a seat. Bastard.

Anyway, what really pissed me off is shortly after that, someone comes into the restroom and picks the stall RIGHT next to me. Nevermind the fact that we're the only two in the room, and he could have easily picked any of the 5 or 6 empty stalls that were NOT where I could see his shoes.

Now, I'm really not all that modest, and I did read "Everyone Poops" as a child, but even still, in situations where there are several available thrones that are not immediately next to the only other person in the bathroom, I consider the whole next-door-neighbor thing to be a bit of an invasion.

So I finished quickly, utilized what Hotass refers to as "cheapass sandpaper", washed up, and evacuated the premises in a huff...

Fucker....

Even flamers can be attractive...

Skipper, darling, in your recent efforts to introduce the world to some of the most "woof-worthy" hunks around, it seems to me that you have neglected to give proper face time to some of the beautiful flamers that have sachayed through the limelight.

Now, I respect the fact that you're into manly men. No problem with that at all. But even you and Hotass are going to have to admit that the guys that I'm about to mention deserve at least SOME kind of oogle or flutter...

Thus, I deliver unto you:

FLAMING FONDLEABLE FAGS #1-5





1. Randy Harrison - AKA Justin Taylor from "Queer as Folk". As much of a genetic bottom as I've ever seen, the lips on this boy are just about as edible as Godiva chocolate. Mm, mm, good.



2. Rufus Wainwright. This cuddly crooner is 95% for sure the girl. And he flaunts his true self. Fabulously dressed and with deep, controlling eyes, this lady-friend is absolutely to die for (if you can overlook his powerful attraction to crystal...)




3. Jai Rodriguez. When this cutesy little femme pounced upon us after the pilot episode of Bravo's "Queer Eye for the Straight Guy", I simply paused the show and stared. Roomie and I were both like "Well isn't he the cutest thing?" Come to find out, Jai's a total hottie. Don't argue with me on this one.




4. Eric McCormack. OK, so this one's not gay, but he plays one on tv. And while he may have a little tiny bit of chest hair, his obsessive-compulsive, part time diva/giggly little girl personality certainly qualifies him as something of a flamer in my book. And to play gay as well as he does, there's got to be a little Kinsey action going on with the divine Mr. M.






5. Rob from Manhunt. This priss should've won. No questions on this one. He's handsome, intelligent, adorable, and queer as can be. Don't tell me you wouldn't like to see the rest of that picture...

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There you have it, Skip. My first attempt to stick up for the pansies. Don't think I'm discounting your observation of beauties like the Cingular Triplets and Robbie Williams, but I must say...I like the pretty ones better than that hot-n-hairy ones...

More To The Story...

Let me preface this post by saying that it truly saddens my heart to see stories like that of Shasta and Dylan Groene. The above picture shows Shasta and her father Steve, shortly after she was saved after seven weeks in the hands of a fugitive sex offender who probably killed her mother and two of her brothers before kidnapping her. This innocent child was repeatedly molested in various ways over the period, and will deal with the emotional scars that her captor left her with for the rest of her life. That said...

The national media has painted this picture that Joseph Edward Duncan III, a stranger to the Groene family, randomly entered their home, killed Shasta's mother, mother's boyfriend, and one of her brothers, kidnapped Shasta and her brother Dylan, molested them, and probably killed Dylan prior to being caught in a North Idaho Denny's restaurant. My hometown is 15 minutes from that Denny's, and they're hearing a much different story than you'll find on Yahoo.

What the national media has neglected to mention, is that at the time the crimes took place, Shasta's family was participating in an all-to-common Eastern Washington/North Idaho/Western Montana tradition: a Meth party. Those members of Shasta's family who weren't already in prison or fugitives to the law were cooking, selling, and using household chemical and urine-based methamphetamines, and hosting unknown individuals like it was a Meth Block Party. Just the kind of party that Joseph Edward Duncan III frequented. In fact, it wouldn't be a surpise if he had seen Shasta and Dylan before...

So as ugly as this sounds, Shasta Groene probably had a slew of emotional, mental, and physical issues that she would spend her life working through prior to being abducted by Joseph Edward Duncan III. She had likely been molested by her pervert older brothers in one of their many drug-induced zombie episodes. She had potentially been touched inappropriately by her mother's boyfriend. She had certainly witnessed a drugged out, abusive, violent relationship between her mother and father prior to their divorce. Poor, sweet Shasta never had a chance.

Joseph Edward Duncan III, who's fucked up thoughts can be viewed at his blog, the Fifth Nail, should be punished to the fullest extent of the law. At the very least, this guy needs to spend the rest of his life in a padded room talking to counsellors for 8-12 hours a day. He's a mess. And he admits it.

But the real villians in this story are the people who gave Shasta life, only to take every opportunity to ruin it for her. She was born a beautiful baby girl, who's only need was to be loved; and while at the core, her family may love her unconditionally, they didn't do a great job of showing it.

It's sad, but the reality is that we allow our families to breed hate, pain, and emotional wreckage; but it takes some sick fuck-up to do something illegal before anyone cares about the child. We watch families tear each other apart, and attribute what we see as family struggles that everyone goes through, so we choose not to get involved.

In reality, is it more shattering to an 8 year old to be abducted and molested by a "stranger", or to be abused and neglected by the family that is supposed to love and nurture you? Is Joseph Edward Duncan III the worst of the villians in this horrible event, or should we be upset that Shasta's mom invited him over to take some of her drugs?

I haven't forgotten that Shasta is the victim. I will pray for her. I will hope for her. And God knows if I ever have a child of my own, I will ABOVE ALL realize my responsibility to show unconditional love and support, and to instill some sense of morality in them.

Here's to you, Shasta...

I Would Have Been Crying...



Ok, so I know its a little outside the stereotypical Queer norm, but I frickin' love Pink Floyd. That old lookin' guy on the left, David Gilmour, is my guitar god. He's the reason I play guitar. I worship that dude. And the Richard Gere lookin' joker beside him, Roger Waters, is a lyric-writing maniac. Scarily so. Nick Mason is the guy next to him that looks like he smells something rancid. He has helped define what it means to be percussive in the rock world. And Richard Wright is the lead synth keyboard man of funk... You've just got to love these guys.

But what's really surreal and monumentous about the picture above, is the fact that all four of those guys are on stage together. After Roger Waters left the band in the 1080's, there has been VERY little communication (and certainly nothing positive) between him and the band. It is only under unlikely circumstances that they were captured on film this last Saturday night.

When they announced that the reunited group would be playing this past weekend's Live8 show in London, I decided not to believe it till I saw it, as rumours like that had spread in the past. But they did it. The boys rocked, too. If I had been there, I would have wept. It wasn't their best performance, by any means. It didn't have the flash and pizazz of an old school Floyd show, but who the hell cared. Roger, Dave, Nick, and Rick were on stage...together...in 2005... unfuckingbelievable... I'm all verclempt....

Preview of a Coming Attraction...






We met Honey last night. One more week and she's coming home for good. I'm gonna spoil the shit out of her. ;-)